Lil’ Pootie

That is a nickname I have for you.

Yes, lil’ Pootie. Your rap name, if you will.

I like to pretend I am your third daughter—the ugly one you adopted out to America—Cause her mother was trash, she was trash and way too fugly to look at (even for a Russian).

I think you are adorable. Everyone knows I love the bad ones the most.

The really bad ones. Why? Cause they try to deny good so much!!! And they CAN’T when they meet me.

They can’t deny that love exists.

And even in their hard lil’ dark disturbing lil hearts, they see something amazing.

I’m not braggin’, lil Pootie I am just sayin‘

That you can’t mix oil and water and you can’t mix darkness and light

Ouch

And your own eyes will burn out of your head from acid rain that you have to stare at with your eyes taped open when they find you.

Double Ouch.

You don’t own the world, bruh

Women do. And we know how to burn it all to the ground and make YOU meet your maker. We brought you into this world, we can take you the fuck out!

Best of luck to you.

Soviet Brutality has no place in the world.

Also, the digital Pen(is)mightier than the swords.

No nuclear weapons! Go to Mars! Drop your bombs there you sick fucks!

Sorry, I got Daddy issues, lil’ Pootie. Abandoned by you and all.

Love always, daughter number 3, the trashy Ugly American one you adopted out (too ugly for Russia), V’Lydina